Introduction

Divorce is one of those topics nobody wants to face, yet many people eventually need honest guidance about it. When someone searches online for “how to get a divorce”, they’re usually feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or even scared about what comes next. That’s why this guide is written in a human, conversational tone — the kind of explanation you’d hope to receive from a lawyer who takes the time to sit down with you and walk through everything without rushing.

In the United States, divorce isn’t handled the same way everywhere. Each state has its own requirements, waiting periods, and rules. Even so, there are general principles that apply in most places. Understanding these basics can help you prepare, reduce stress, and avoid mistakes that could complicate the process or increase your expenses.

My goal here is to give you a practical, real-world overview of how divorce works in the U.S. You’ll learn what options exist, which type of divorce might fit your situation, and what choices you’ll need to make early on. Think of this as a calm, steady introduction to a process that often feels chaotic.

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1. Understanding What Type of Divorce You Need

Before filling out any forms or calling a lawyer, the most important first step is understanding what kind of divorce applies to your situation. This single decision shapes everything else — the cost, the timeline, and the difficulty of the case.

1.1 No-Fault Divorce

Most states in the U.S. now allow no-fault divorces. This means you don’t have to prove that your spouse did anything wrong. You simply state that the marriage can’t continue due to “irreconcilable differences.”

Why is this significant?
Because it usually makes the entire process faster and less hostile. There’s no need to collect evidence or bring witnesses to prove wrongdoing. Couples who want to close this chapter of their lives in a peaceful way often choose this route.

1.2 Fault-Based Divorce

Although less common today, some states still allow divorces based on fault. This might include reasons like adultery, abandonment, cruelty, or substance abuse.

Is it worth choosing a fault-based divorce?
It depends. If the other person’s behavior might influence financial support, custody, or the division of property, proving fault could matter. But keep in mind that these cases are almost always longer and more emotionally draining.

1.3 Uncontested vs. Contested Divorce

Beyond the question of fault, another key distinction is whether the divorce is:

• Uncontested:
  Both spouses agree on everything — property, debts, custody, support, and any other relevant issues.
  This is the simplest, least expensive type of divorce.
• Contested:
  The spouses disagree on one or more issues.
  Contested divorces often require lawyers, mediation, court hearings, and sometimes a full trial if no agreement is reached.

It’s common for couples to begin in conflict and eventually reach an agreement during mediation. The earlier you determine whether negotiation is possible, the easier the process becomes.

1.4 Divorce With Children vs. Without Children

If children are involved, the court plays a more active role in making sure the arrangement protects their wellbeing. This includes decisions about:

• Legal custody
• Physical custody
• Visitation schedules
• Child support
• Parenting plans

Even in states where divorce can move quickly, a judge may require adjustments if the agreement doesn’t reflect the best interests of the child.

1.5 Divorce With Assets vs. Without Assets

Another key consideration is whether the marriage includes shared property, savings, investments, or debts.

In the U.S., two main systems determine how divorce courts divide assets:

• Community Property:
  Everything earned or acquired during the marriage is typically split 50/50.
  States like California, Texas, and Nevada use this system.
• Equitable Distribution:
  Property is divided in a way that is considered fair, which isn’t always an even split.
  This system applies in most states.

Understanding which system your state follows can help you anticipate the level of complexity your divorce may involve.